Been meaning to

7 Jan

I meant to wake up by 7 this morning and go to work. Thanks to a sleepless night of tossing and turning and listening to my neighbor’s generator rumble when all else failed, I got up at 10am after sleep decided to finally check in at 5am just as my patience was checking out. I got to work close to noon. Thank God am the boss of my department or I’d have had an earful #:-s

I’ve been meaning to work on this quotation – whose submission deadline is Monday – since morning. Am still meaning to, at 6pm in the evening when half the office has already left. <shucks>

I’ve been meaning to slot this vintage reggae CD into my laptop and have fun with music as I normally do on Fridays. Somehow the strength and general psyke to do it fails me, am not even sure I want any music today. Am still meaning to salvage my usual Friday vivaciousness and good moods though. <sigh>

I’ve been meaning to write a certain email thats eating up my insides and gnawing at my very soul. Somehow I cannot muster the emotional strength, will power and vigour to put pen to paper and pour out the pain, anger and disappointment (and longing) in my heart that threatens to destroy me from within. I will get to it when I get to it I guess <double sigh>

I’ve been meaning to post something here all day. Something uplifting and fun, something more me, unlike my last two posts. Partly because I promised myself to blog regularly, and partly because I thought writting would help get me out of this emotional hell. Its now 6:33pm and am still coming up blank on the uplifting side. <triple sigh>

I’ve been meaning to do a lot of things. Instead I sat on my ass all day, operating at a quarter of my normal brain speed,  thinking 😕 and worrying my head off , planning, unplanning, resolving, swearing, regretting, day dreaming, reminiscing, wishing, zoobing and acting all retarded and basically vegetating my brain with all the inactivity.

Oh well, at least I’ve been meaning to, no? 😉  There is hope yet 🙂

In other less-depressing news, talked to my Kaflower on phone for over an hour. Really the most spontaneous phone call. We skirted around issues, opened up, bitched, talked, consoled, we shangaa’d mad, we laughed at our skewed, mal-functioning lives and both felt better for it. Girl, you are my rock! Thanks a mill, xoxo!! 🙂 ❤


2 Responses to “Been meaning to”

  1. Kaflower January 13, 2011 at 12:05 pm #

    just what i needed to brighten up my day!!!! hilarious to teh core and yes i did enjoy our long session of MUZINDUKO!
    i meant to pick up a friend and go for shopping but… i am still in the verge of meaning to !!!
    love you loads kiddo … !

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