Happy birthday to me!!! :-)

11 Mar

How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you were? ~Satchel Paige

I am an year older on Sunday. I turn 27! Gosh it sounds like I’ve been around forever. That little number has filled me with such dread and consternation over the last few days. Twenty Seven!! I was just 18 the other day, what happened? I don’t know why I am not happy about it, I just don’t like aging. 😦

I’ll admit I’ve been having sleepless nights about it over the last two weeks. Infact the other day I was up between 2:30 to 4:30am thinking about it. I showed up at work at around 11am having overslept but of course I told my boss I had gone to see a client first ;). Am a bright girl, I know which side my bread is buttered 🙂 . It doesn’t help that am in a new country with no close circle of friends. Am afraid my birthday will be just like any other “kawa” day. Oh! Horror of horrors!So if I call in sick on Monday morning just know I broke my Lent Fast and drowned my sorrow in alcohol. And if I don’t do a pre-birthday post just spare me the embarrassment of making up an awesome lie and don’t even bring it up. Yes am that girl, birthdays mean a lot to me and I might hate you forever if you forget mine especially since I remember everyone’s birthday. If you mean something to my life, take note, you’ve been pre-warned (Birthday-zilla??)

Walking down memory lane the other day, I couldn’t help but laugh at how incredibly naive my reasoning was, just how many avoidable mistakes I made, how many lies I swallowed and how I made so many promises that I coudn’t possibly keep coz inevitably people grow up and the veil of youth on our eyes finally lifts. Of course I wont tell you everything I dreamt and thought about back then because it is different when I laugh at myself and when you laugh at me ;). A funny example though is how when I was young and naive, back when everything stood on its own without support and under-wire bras were a distant nightmare, I used to brag the way I would age gracefully without any outside help, I would love my droopy boobs and cherish every wrinkle. Oh, the folly of youth! Now as I grow older and definitely wiser, I look back and think, what? Aging gracefully is now starting to mean working hard to make sure everything is in place for as long as it possibly can. At the moment I do not wear ANY make up but am told I should acquaint myself with foundation, moisturiser, conceiler, etc. I am even considering it though it will take a lot of effort to apply the stuff. I will not even rule out a little Dr.90210 help when I get to my 40s. Granted at this point am only seeing it as far as getting a lift for the twins and a face lift but I cannot rule out botox, butt lift and all those other lifts as long as I do not end up looking like Donatella Versace or that awful woman with the modelling show, I forget her name. Yes Janice Dickinson!! Yikes! *shivers*. Which reminds me, have you guys heard about ?Jocelyn Wildenstein Uuuuuwiiiiiiii!!! Maybe I’ll forget that surgery business afterall, they might invent a time machine by the time it becomes important to me to wage an Al Shabaab on gravity. But I digress, there are more important matters to ponder such as the curious case of Carole, the Kenyan girl who is baffling scientists the world over by defying nature and getting younger instead of older.

Its not all glum though. I am happy to be in a good place in my life (can you tell I’ve watched too much Oprah?). Seriously though, I am more comfortable in my own skin, I am who I am – what I can change I change, what I cant change I embrace. I am more aware of myself and what I like and why I make the choices I make. I am more conscious of my preferences, habits and personality. I am at a place where I can actually sit, evaluate my decisions and be ready to live by the outcome of my choices. Its not about getting older, its about growth and maturity. Too bad it has to come with a few more years but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I cringe in embarrassment way when I reminisce about the choices and decisions that younger Carole made.

All in all, I shall not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many. For this I am grateful to God always. So here’s to many many more returns to me!! 🙂

Happy weekend lovelies!!

P/s: Avant serenaded me all morning. Here’s a little piece of him from me to you. xoxo!!!

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7 Responses to “Happy birthday to me!!! :-)”

  1. kbaab March 31, 2011 at 9:06 am #

    Aha! Seems I’m not alone. Happy Belated Birthday dear. I can tell you for a fact that I’m freaking out turning 27 in May. I’m getting closer and closer to the Big 3 O…Scary ish!

    • not-so-little Miss Random! March 31, 2011 at 5:28 pm #

      Hush! Don’t even mention the big 3 O, Whoa!!! I have a feeling I might have several 29th birthdays.

  2. Olivia March 14, 2011 at 10:02 am #

    Darling,

    First many apologies for being (fashionably late). Nate was unwell and I haven’t been online since Wednesday. Second, I so feel you (I do feel you a lot, don’t I?), on feeling old. I turned 27 too and men!! how i wish i was turning 22. But hey, like wine we can only get better with age. So HAPPY BIRTHDAY CAROLE!! I left out the word belated on purpose.

    hugs,
    Olive

    • not-so-little Miss Random! March 15, 2011 at 12:32 pm #

      Oh oh, Is Nate well now? Chum him for me. And yes you do feel me a whole lot lol, who is who’s clone? Hmmm. I sometimes wish I was 22 but then am different ages most days depending on the situation. There are days when I feel 19 and there are days I feel 45!! Most days am a comfortable 23 though 🙂

      • Olivia March 16, 2011 at 10:30 am #

        Yes, he’s ok now. He’s quite a fighter that boy. And here’s to being comfortable with our (young) ages ;).

  3. Zippy March 11, 2011 at 4:56 pm #

    Carole Babe,

    I think my wake up call that I was no longer sixteen came when I got my baby at 24 thats when I dreaded each year thereafte but nevertheless embraced it, now I will tell you how much am in denial of the big Three 0, waaaaa! Don even go there! I used to embrace a year older on Jan 1st now I wait till Sep on my birthday! Not a day older! Lol…

    Beautiful pieace galfriend, Happy Birthday, you know I would have rocked it If I would, nevertheless I sent my emissarries 😉 expect them on your doorstep anytime!

    Much love. XOXO.

    • not-so-little Miss Random! March 11, 2011 at 5:09 pm #

      Zippy,

      Babes, we are 16 at heart! Isn’t that what matters? Am told you are as old as you feel. Well on a good day I feel 19, on a bad day, uuwiii dont even ask! The big Three O is quite a big one but atleast you have a lot to show for it babes. And we shall celebrate it in style definately.

      Will miss having you around on Sunday, but biashara has to go on.

      p/s: Now you got me all excited about those emissaries!! :-).

      xoxo!!

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