12 Mar

Kahawa = Coffee in Swahili

I love sitting alone in a coffee house, mocha latte in hand, good book in the other; no disturbance thank you. Sometimes I actually read the book, other times I feign deep thought as I carry out my other favorite pass time; people watching.

It’s amazing how much you can learn by watching a bunch of strangers, not to mention how entertaining it is to guess each particular person’s situation in life. Most times I study their demeanor, dress, general behavior and their drink of choice and draw hypothesis on what kind of person they are. Weird but harmless fun in my books

Most of people at coffee houses are a pretentious lot, I have come to learn. The other half are just looking for cheap and convenient office space to transact their business. Let’s demystify a few of these; the gospel according to me.

There’s the wannabe’s who think its cool and uptown to pay Ksh.300 for a cup of coffee. You will notice them studying the menu like an encyclopedia trying to figure out the difference cappuccino and a latte and comparing prices just in case. They try hard to blend in but sheer awkwardness causes them to stick out like a sore thumb.

Then there’s the seemingly busy professional typing furiously on the latest Mac book or ipad while all along stealing swift yet sweeping glances over the rims of his expensive eye wear to size up the oncoming traffic for potential eye candy. Once in a while the glance will linger 15 seconds longer in appreciation and focus will generally be divided between the gadget and the new object of lust.

The three artistic looking young men who are dressed like Sauti Sol, deeply engrossed in deep-sounding conversation are more likely than not, gay. Don’t ask me why, it’s just my experience and I am not throwing the first stone either.

No coffee house worth its name is complete without a group of older, very kawaida looking men huddled over figures scribbled on a crumpled piece of paper which has been inadvertently retrieved from a do-eared manila envelope. These ones sip tea. If you look closely at the zeros on that piece of paper you may just get dizzy. They transact serious business and hardly notice anyone outside their tight circle. Cuts are agreed upon, calls are made to the right places and deals are sealed. So next time you feel like looking down are the elderly Maasai gentleman in a faded brown Kaunda suit, just remember he probably owns the whole of Kajiado and a not insubstantial amount of shares at your current place of employment. Respect.

The corner table is always occupied by a bunch of very pretty, just-started-working girls chattering away and gesticulating to display well-manicured nails. They are always loud, poised and very intimidating to any insecure woman within their radius, radiating an air of entitlement. They look so carefree as they fret over unpaid bills and cheating boyfriends. Either way, standards must be maintained; showing weakness is not an option.

You ask which category I fall under? Me I just sit here, sip my latte and water, read/pretend to read my book, sometimes write a little but mostly make other people’s business my business 🙂

P/s: This post had been sitting in my drafts for almost an year, in the company of about 20 other posts awaiting editing or completion or something like that. Well I’ve made up my mind to bring them to light as unedited as they please. Forgive any randomness; that is after all very Carole 🙂


5 Responses to “Kahawa”

  1. Kenyan Brutus March 13, 2012 at 1:16 pm #

    You forgot the type that hits on the pretty little waitresses, Kwanza the java at K.street has some hot momos… Damn! Did I just out myself?

    • not-so-little Miss Random! March 19, 2012 at 9:30 pm #

      Brutus you have been busted! Shall I be the judge and the jury on this one?

      • Kenyan Brutus March 20, 2012 at 9:04 am #

        Depends on what the sentence is…..

  2. braintattoo March 13, 2012 at 10:08 am #

    Ha ha ha… I got to a coffee house too, when I want to be alone with my thoughts. I’ll sit at the corner and spread my stuff all over the table and chair so no one thinks am looking for company. And I’ll drink my mochalatte in peace… happy that the waiters don’t bother me. Someday, I’ll try do the same at a club. I wonder if the vultures would leave me alone.

    • not-so-little Miss Random! March 13, 2012 at 11:41 am #


      Do not, and I repeat, do not try that stunt in a club. All the psychos will think you’ve just reported to work. Only do that in a club if you are willing to compromise on your attire, as in dress like your grandma so attraction is nil lol……… Maybe one of these days I’ll spot you and write about the solitary lass sipping a Mocha latte with a combined air of grace and innocence……

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