Naija this, Naija that!

19 Mar

Apparently while I was hiding under a rock or some similar thing, everything Naija, Nigerian if you like, became cool. Naija is the trending word in Nairobi social circles. Want a hot, rich man? Look for a Naija guy. Want to dress cool? Naija Ankara fabric especially if you can fly to Lagos to buy yourself some at Da Viva. Want to take an African holiday/clubbing experience? Why not fly to Lagos. Want this want that? Get Naija. Huh?

When did Naija become the SI Unit for coolness in this town????

I am not just randomly rumbling. The other day I had a very interesting discussion with some lovely ladies and there was very huge interest in Naija men. Some of the interest was on the sheer endowment in their er “private apparatus” but most of the interest was on the endowment of their pockets. I hear half the rents in Kileleshwa are being paid by said ogaz and so are the big cars being driven around by cute bimbos with long, horse hair on their delicate heads. Don’t even mention the blackberrys and the shopping trips to Dubai and South Africa. 

I know about five girls who are dating Naija men; they’ve even changed their accents to that annoying pidgin. The other girls in their circle hang around them, eyes laden with envy hoping to snag a Naija brother courtesy of their friends’ men. All they talk about is Naija this, Naija that with so much conviction even though some would not even place the country on the map given half a chance. 

Have you seen the number of West African restaurants that have mushroomed in the Kilimani area recently? 

Maybe I get where they are coming from. Most of the Nigerian men I have met and who are personal friends are after all stylish, fairly good looking and devastatingly charming. But the same can be said of our Luo brothers, why aren’t we all moving to the lake side in droves?

Nigeria has a population of about 167million at the last count, that’s a little over 4 times the size of Kenya. There are over a hundred tribes, each with their own mannerisms and habits much in the same way we do in Kenya. We have the typically stingy tribe, the arrogant ones, the broke ones, the strugglers, the baby killers, the sorcerers, the religious extreme fundamentalists, the lazy ones, the con men, etc. They are all there. Infact, half the stuff that goes on Nigeria could make Kenya look like a monastery! I have been to both Lagos and Abuja, I do not see the novelty. 

Do not be fooled ladies, just because your pal’s man is astonishingly handsome, refreshingly charming, stylish to within an inch of his life and throws green bucks around like they grows on trees does not mean all his brothers will inadvertently follow suit/or are even capable of that. Our dear generous brother happens to fall under the 10% successful bracket (oil, government, old family money, etc) that can afford any woman they so desire in whichever country they travel to, your friend included (be so kind as to pass on that bit if she’s truly a friend). Or he could be that Abdul guy that constantly wants to channel 10million dollars through your account if only you could first wire him $1,000 to unblock something or some shady story like that.

If most of these Naija-loving women were to be very honest with themselves, their key reason for needing to date these Naija men is just one, MONEY and a flashy life style. Yes, am calling ya’ll gold diggers. Our Kenyan brothers have wisened up to your gold-digging tactics and now you are selling yourselves to a higher bidder. Casual, classier prostitution is what I call it, if you object I would be happy to take that back if you can convince me otherwise.

Test: If I placed infront of you girls a decent enough, middle class, charming, stylish, polished, classy, relatively financially stable young man with a potential to grow himself in future; most of you would still choose the married Naija guy who jets in with him own gulf stream and makes it rain for your rent and your Range Rover. You know you would, don’t give me that look. 

If you are a Kenyan man reading this and smiling smugly as you think that am defending you, you are sorely mistaken. The majority of you have a long way to go in learning how to treat women and your responsibilities as men within relationships. Improved grooming would be a plus too but that’s a whole other post.

I am not being all holier than thou or anything neither am I on anyone’s side. I would date a Kenyan, a Nigerian, an Asian, blue, black, yellow as long as I genuinely loved the guy and felt respected. I only write this because I am appalled at the wanton greed displayed by these so-called Nairobi socialites under the guise of “there are no good men in Kenya”; they give the rest of the girls a bad name. A hooker by any other name is still just that, a hooker. 


P/s: No offence to Nigerians. Wale, W, Yomi, Yinka, Seyi and all my Naija brothers, love ya’ll to bits. 


Love and peace! 🙂



19 Responses to “Naija this, Naija that!”

  1. Free Dating SA July 8, 2014 at 9:12 am #

    Oga very proud. Oga fufu. Oga Kenyan women. OK. I give it up to them. If the women love them, let them do it.

  2. Kenyan Brutus March 28, 2012 at 8:23 pm #

    Have you gone off into another of your long spells of hibernation?

  3. Much. March 20, 2012 at 5:38 pm #

    oga oh! dis ting is wemble!

  4. JM March 20, 2012 at 10:48 am #

    #Deadly!! Telling it like it is….like always! #kudos

  5. Olive March 20, 2012 at 9:49 am #

    Very well written. It’s quite sad that some women would choose money and a flashy lifestyle at the expense of their dignity and respect.

    • not-so-little Miss Random! March 20, 2012 at 2:29 pm #

      How else will they floss around town about their fancy cars and houses? Surely you are not expecting them to degrade themselves by living within their means like the rest of us?

  6. Kenyan Brutus March 20, 2012 at 9:02 am #

    Cant imagine Nigerian pidgin with a Muranga accent. Sheer comedy 🙂

    • not-so-little Miss Random! March 20, 2012 at 2:37 pm #

      Murang’a Texas Lagos!!! hihihiii, maybe I should tape one that I know and send you the link.

    • Kenyan Brutus March 21, 2012 at 8:49 pm #

      Ohh yes you should!

  7. Mercy Murugi (@mercymurugi) March 19, 2012 at 11:57 pm #

    Your outro should’ve been, ‘ No Nigerian men were harmed in the writing of this post.

    If money and class came from dating Bonobos, materialist women would find a way of loving them.

    Great to see you back.

  8. Jeremiah Ibara March 19, 2012 at 11:42 pm #

    I pity you “Kenyan” girls – we are here and we care. Atleast now we know our weakness, pulling up the socks! Stop the hate…

    • not-so-little Miss Random! March 20, 2012 at 2:32 pm #

      Jeremiah, we pity you Kenyan men too by the way lol. Drinking every last penny, shunning your God-given responsibilities, thinking beautiful, well groomed girls grow on trees, etc. But look closely, a few of us are giving you a chance to pull up your socks ama we vuka to Naija as well lol

      • Kenyan Brutus March 21, 2012 at 8:52 pm #

        Njeri, when you drink every last penny, then girls indeed will begin to grow on trees. you come back from Buffet Park, black out, and when you wake up at 2am, there is a girl perched on top of the tree….

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